What is the difference between an Active and a Passive Bystander?

The crucial distinction that changes everything

So I’m sitting in this client meeting last month, right? And I watch two people react to the exact same inappropriate comment in completely different ways.

First guy, Mark, goes all tense in his chair. Looks around the room like he’s hoping someone else will say something. Then just stares at his laptop until the awkwardness passes. Standard stuff, you know?

Sarah though? She looks straight at the guy who made the comment and goes, “I don’t think that’s appropriate for this discussion.” Just like that. Same moment, two totally different choices.

And look, this isn’t just about personality types or who’s more confident. It’s way deeper than that. It’s about how we think our jobs work and what we reckon we’re responsible for. Because here’s the thing that gets me – passive bystanders think they’re staying neutral, but they’re actually not. They’re making a choice too.

When someone sees dodgy behaviour and does nothing? They’re sending a message. To the person doing it, to the person copping it, to everyone watching. The message is basically “this is fine by me.” Even when it’s not fine by them at all.

The Australian Human Rights Commission keeps banging on about this.

Toxic workplaces don’t just happen because of the obvious troublemakers. They happen because good people stay quiet and let stuff slide. Over and over until it becomes normal.

Understanding passive bystanders: the silent enablers

Passive bystanders aren’t bad people.

Need to get that straight upfront because I work with heaps of them and they’re genuinely decent people most of the time.

These are professionals who care about their workplaces but when push comes to shove, they freeze up. They see inappropriate comments, watch people get excluded, hear about harassment, and they just… don’t do anything. They tell themselves it’s the professional thing to do. The mature response.

But passive behaviour is never neutral. Never.

You witness something crappy at work and say nothing? You just told everyone in that room that you’re okay with it. Doesn’t matter what you actually think. Your silence speaks louder.

I see the same patterns over and over in training sessions. These people avoid anything that might rock the boat. They focus on all the ways speaking up could go wrong instead of thinking about what happens when nobody speaks up. They assume someone with more authority will handle it.

And get this – they often convince themselves they’re protecting the person being targeted.

Like, they worry that speaking up might embarrass them or make things worse. What they don’t get is that targets of workplace crap consistently tell us they feel more alone when bystanders stay quiet. The message they get isn’t “my colleagues are being tactful.” It’s “nobody thinks this matters enough to bother.”

Passive bystanders are brilliant at minimising stuff too. “It wasn’t that bad.” “They probably didn’t mean it.” “Maybe I misunderstood.” All ways of making themselves feel better about doing nothing.

Staying uninvolved feels safe, doesn’t it? No risk of conflict, no chance of making things awkward, no responsibility for workplace drama that’s “not your job anyway.”

But here’s what passive bystanders miss completely.

Their silence gets interpreted as approval by the people behaving badly. Like, if nobody objects, it must be fine, right? So the behaviour continues. Gets worse. Meanwhile, other potential targets are watching and thinking “nobody’s going to help me either.”

The active bystander: taking ownership of workplace culture

Active bystanders think differently from the ground up.

They get that workplace culture isn’t something that just happens to them. It’s something they help create every single day through their choices. Doesn’t mean they’re always comfortable speaking up – most of them still get nervous. But they’ve decided their discomfort matters less than letting crap behaviour slide.

The big difference is agency. That’s the word for it.

Instead of thinking “someone should do something about this,” they think “what can I do about this?” Totally different mindset. They see themselves as having actual power to influence what happens around them.

And they’ve got this broader view of what their job actually involves. Like, creating a decent workplace isn’t just HR’s problem or management’s problem. It’s everyone’s problem. I watch this lightbulb moment happen in training all the time. People suddenly realise that being a good colleague includes calling out inappropriate behaviour.

The shift from “not my circus, not my monkeys” to “my workplace, my responsibility” is where real change kicks off.

I’ve seen people who’ve been passive for years suddenly start seeing intervention opportunities everywhere. Not because the workplace changed, but because they changed how they looked at it.

Active bystanders know intervention doesn’t have to be dramatic either. Sometimes it’s just asking a question that makes someone’s dodgy assumptions obvious. Sometimes it’s checking in with someone privately after they’ve been targeted. Sometimes it’s redirecting a conversation that’s gone off the rails.

They build up a toolkit of responses that work for different situations and their own comfort levels.

What’s fascinating is the ripple effect. When someone consistently responds to inappropriate behaviour appropriately, it changes everything. Other people start thinking “oh, I can do that too.” Targets feel less isolated. Even the people behaving badly start realising their behaviour won’t just be ignored.

That moment when someone shifts from “I hope someone does something” to “I can do something” – that’s where culture change happens.

Plus active bystanders get better at spotting the subtle stuff. Not just the obvious harassment but the microaggressions, the exclusions, the little things that add up over time.

Key differences in mindset and approach

The differences run way deeper than just what people do. It’s about how they think about risk, uncertainty, relationships, all of it.

Risk assessment is huge.

Passive bystanders only see the downsides of speaking up. What if there’s retaliation? What if I cause conflict? What if I misread the situation? What if I make it worse? So they get paralysed because every intervention has some potential downside.

Active bystanders do the maths differently. Yeah, speaking up has risks. But what are the risks of staying quiet? What message does my silence send? What happens if this behaviour continues unchecked? When you think about it like that, often the bigger risk is doing nothing.

Then there’s uncertainty.

Passive bystanders use uncertainty as an excuse for inaction. “I’m not sure what to say, so I won’t say anything.” They wait until they’ve got the perfect response figured out, which of course never happens.

Active bystanders see uncertainty as something to work through, not something that stops them. They might start small, test the waters, ask for advice. They don’t need perfect solutions to take some kind of action. Like I always tell people – passive bystanders ask “what if I make it worse?” Active bystanders ask “what if I don’t try?”

Relationships are another big one.

Passive bystanders prioritise comfort over confrontation. They don’t want to make things awkward with colleagues or strain professional relationships. So they’ll tolerate inappropriate behaviour indefinitely to avoid interpersonal conflict.

Active bystanders understand that real professional relationships are built on mutual respect. They know that letting inappropriate behaviour slide actually damages relationships by creating environments where some people feel unsafe or unwelcome. They’re willing to risk short-term awkwardness for long-term relationship health.

The agency thing is probably the most fundamental difference though.

Passive bystanders feel like they don’t have much influence over workplace dynamics. They think addressing inappropriate behaviour isn’t their role, they don’t have authority to intervene, individual actions don’t matter much anyway. It becomes this self-fulfilling prophecy – because they don’t act, they don’t develop skills or confidence, which makes future action feel even less possible.

Active bystanders believe their individual actions matter and can influence workplace culture. This belief motivates them to develop intervention skills and look for opportunities to create positive change, which reinforces their sense of effectiveness.

How they define their job responsibilities differs too. Passive bystanders have narrow definitions that don’t include addressing inappropriate behaviour they witness. Active bystanders see contributing to respectful workplace cultures as part of everyone’s professional responsibility.

Real-world examples: seeing the difference in action

Right, so this manager I know used to tell this ridiculous sexist joke about women drivers during project debriefs.

First time I saw it happen, classic passive bystander responses all round. People looked uncomfortable, someone checked their phone, another person suddenly found their notebook fascinating. Awkward silence for a few beats, then someone changed the subject to quarterly targets.

Few weeks later, same joke, but this time Sarah’s in the room. She looks straight at him and goes, “I’m not sure how that story relates to our project outcomes. Should we focus on the client feedback instead?”

Not aggressive, not dramatic. Just redirected the conversation and made it clear the joke was inappropriate.

The difference in outcomes was mental. First scenario, the manager obviously thought his joke went down fine. Maybe not everyone laughed, but nobody objected, so it must be okay, right? I guarantee he kept telling that joke in other meetings.

Second scenario, he looked genuinely embarrassed, mumbled an apology, and moved on to actual work stuff. Never told that joke again in any meeting I attended.

Here’s another one that really shows the contrast.

This organisation I was working with had a senior bloke who constantly interrupted women in meetings. Just talked right over them like they weren’t there.

The passive bystanders developed these elaborate workarounds. They’d try to remember what the interrupted person was saying and bring it up later. Or suggest private meetings to get the women’s input. Well-meaning, but completely useless for addressing the actual problem.

The active bystander took a different approach. When the interrupting started, she’d say stuff like “Sorry, I don’t think Janet had finished her point” or “Let’s hear the rest of what Sarah was saying.”

Direct, immediate, focused on making sure everyone could contribute to the discussion.

The passive bystanders were shocked initially. They thought it was too confrontational, might embarrass the interrupter. But the results spoke for themselves. Interrupting decreased massively, the women started contributing more freely, and the quality of team decisions improved.

What gets me about these examples is how the same problematic behaviour can either get normalised or challenged, depending entirely on how bystanders respond.

Passive bystanders accidentally give permission for inappropriate behaviour to continue and escalate. Active bystanders set boundaries that make inappropriate behaviour harder to sustain.

I’ve noticed something else too. Active bystander responses give passive bystanders permission to act differently next time. Once someone shows that intervention is possible and professional, others start recognising their own opportunities to respond more actively.

In workplaces with several active bystanders, inappropriate behaviour becomes really hard to sustain because it gets consistently challenged instead of ignored. The cultural message becomes crystal clear: we don’t tolerate disrespectful behaviour here.

The impact on workplace culture and outcomes

Whether your workplace has mostly active or passive bystanders basically determines whether the culture gets better or stays stuck.

I’ve worked with organisations where one or two active bystanders completely transformed team dynamics. And others where passive bystander cultures let harassment and discrimination run rampant for years.

When passive bystanders dominate, inappropriate behaviour gets normalised through lack of challenge.

People doing the wrong thing learn their actions have no consequences, so often they escalate. Targets feel isolated and unsupported, which hits their performance, wellbeing, retention. Other employees see that inappropriate behaviour goes unchallenged, which makes them anxious about their own vulnerability.

But here’s something interesting from the research – when about 25% of a group consistently demonstrates active bystander behaviour, it can shift norms for the whole group. You don’t need everyone to become active bystanders immediately. You just need enough people modelling appropriate intervention that passive responses become less socially acceptable.

Active bystander cultures create totally different workplace dynamics.

When inappropriate behaviour gets consistently challenged, it becomes less frequent and less severe. Targets feel more supported and are more likely to report serious stuff through formal channels. Overall psychological safety improves because people know their colleagues will intervene if they witness problems.

Long-term organisational impacts are massive. Workplaces with active bystander cultures have lower turnover, fewer formal harassment complaints, higher engagement scores. They attract better talent because word gets around about organisations where people feel respected and supported.

On the flip side, organisations with passive bystander cultures struggle with reputation issues, legal liability, difficulty attracting and keeping quality employees.

The costs of dealing with harassment after it’s escalated are way higher than prevention through active bystander intervention.

Active bystander cultures become self-reinforcing too. When intervention is normal and supported, more people develop confidence and skills to intervene effectively. Creates these upward spirals where workplace culture keeps improving instead of stagnating.

I’ve also seen that active bystander cultures tend to be more innovative and creative. When people feel psychologically safe and supported, they’re more likely to share ideas, take appropriate risks, collaborate effectively. The same skills that make someone an effective bystander often translate into stronger performance in other areas.

Making the shift: from passive to active bystander

Good news is, I’ve never met anyone who couldn’t learn to be a more active bystander with proper support.

The transition needs specific skill development, confidence building, and organisational support, but it’s totally achievable for most people with appropriate training and practice.

Key capabilities include situation assessment skills, range of intervention options, understanding escalation procedures, confidence in personal judgement. None of these are natural talents. They can all be developed through training and practice.

Situation assessment is about quickly working out whether intervention’s needed, what type might be most effective, what level of risk is involved.

Sounds complicated but with practice, people learn to make these calls pretty rapidly and accurately.

Having multiple intervention options is crucial because different situations need different approaches. Someone might be comfortable with subtle redirection but not direct confrontation. Or effective at private follow-up but struggle with immediate responses. Multiple tools make intervention feel manageable and increase the likelihood someone will take appropriate action.

Understanding escalation procedures helps bystanders know when situations exceed their ability to address informally and need formal organisational response. This knowledge actually makes people more likely to intervene appropriately because they know they’re not responsible for solving every problem themselves.

Confidence develops through practice and positive reinforcement.

When people successfully intervene in lower-stakes situations and get support for their actions, they become more willing to tackle challenging scenarios.

Training programs can accelerate this development heaps by providing safe opportunities to practice intervention skills and work through common barriers. Role-playing, scenario discussions, peer feedback help people build capabilities and confidence simultaneously.

Organisational support is equally important. When leadership clearly values bystander intervention and protects people who speak up appropriately, it creates psychological safety for others to act similarly.

What’s encouraging is how quickly people can make this shift when they have proper support and training. I’ve seen individuals go from complete passivity to confident intervention in weeks when they get the right tools and encouragement.

Which bystander will you choose to be?

End of the day, we all choose what kind of colleague we want to be.

Every workplace interaction is a chance to choose between passive enabling and active culture-building. The choice isn’t just about personality or comfort levels. It’s about the kind of workplace culture we collectively create through our daily decisions.

All those differences we’ve talked about – mindset, risk assessment, response to uncertainty, professional responsibility – they come down to fundamental choices about how we show up at work and what kind of environment we want to create for our colleagues.

What strikes me most after years in this space is how much power individual bystanders actually have to influence workplace culture positively.

The shift from passive to active isn’t just good for immediate targets of inappropriate behaviour. Creates ripple effects that improve psychological safety, inclusion, overall workplace functioning for everyone.

If you’re ready to make the shift from passive to active bystander, or want to support others in your organisation to develop these capabilities, there are practical steps you can take right now. Check out our online training here for comprehensive skill development you can do at your own pace, or contact us about live training that gives you the interactive practice and discussion that makes bystander training genuinely transformative.

Look, the difference between active and passive bystanders isn’t about being perfect or fearless.

It’s about being willing to take appropriate action when it matters, developing skills to intervene effectively, and accepting responsibility for the workplace culture we help create every day.